I have been very quiet lately. I have been watching everything that has been going on and absorbing it as it happened. I have to admit that this is not coming easily to me. I am one that expresses herself through writing. I have been having a hard time trying to come up with the words to express myself right now.
I am sickened by what I have been seeing. Prime example: I saw a post the other day posted by a guy that was just trying to sit in his seat on a plane. He was wearing a Trump shirt. The woman who was in the seat next to him went crazy. She was rude. She was ridiculing him over his choice. She was yelling at him like he was less than human because he was a Trump supporter. (Before I go any further, I am going to say 1 thing–this has nothing to do with who I voted for or who I support/ed.) Everything she said was uncalled for. She ended up getting kicked off of the plane by the captain. I respect the captain’s choice. Moving on in the post, I looked at the comments. I knew better, but I did it anyway. All I read in the comments was hate. Hate from both sides. Trump supporters bashing the woman and those that don’t support Trump and vice versa. How is this hate going to “make America great again?!” I will answer with this:
How does anyone expect anything to change if all we are doing is spewing insults at each other? I had someone tell me that it shouldn’t be considered an us vs. them situation. Everywhere I look, that is all I see. You are either a Trump supporter or you are wrong on one side, or you are not a Trump supporter or you are wrong on the other side. There doesn’t seem to be an in between. There will never be unity as long as this continues. I don’t see anyone trying to unify anyone. All I see is bickering about who is right and who is wrong.
That being said…no, I am not a Trump supporter. I will respect him as I have been taught to do. I will respect him because he is in authority over me, and God has asked us to respect those in that position. Do I like what he is doing? No. Do I feel that he is creating more of a division in our country than I remember ever seeing in my lifetime? Yes.
I have never seen as much hate in my lifetime than what I have seen over the last few months. If I weren’t a Christian, I would truly be scared at the turn that humanity has taken. Not fearing the end of my time on this earth doesn’t keep me from wanting to change things. It doesn’t keep me from wanting to make things better while I am here. I want my children to grow up surrounded by love. Right now, the love is not as rampant in our country as the hate is. I just don’t understand. I wish I did.
Although there is so much more I want to get out, I am going to en here for now. I am at that point of writer’s block that is preventing the words to come to express myself again.
I pray that something changes for the positive very, very soon.
When I wrote part 1, I never intended a part 2. Then, a couple of days after I wrote it, my devotional was along the same line. The title–“I am ____.” Same thing Sunday at church. Same message. Same question. I am thinking I should probably continue and answer that question.
In Exodus 3:14, after being asked by Moses whom he should say sent him to request the release of the Israelites, God told Moses to tell them that “I am” sent him. How does this explain who God is? Because God is. He is everything. He is in everything. Now, why does this need an explanation? Because we are anchored by our perceptions of what we are. We need another word to follow “am” to identify ourselves.
So. Who am I? I have thought about this a lot over the years. I have identified as many things. Most of the time, I have identified with the things that people have told me that I am. I am worthless. I am stupid. I am a horrible person. I am hateful. I am a bad mother. I am fat. So many identities that were given to me by others, and I believed them. I believed them to the point of attempting to commit suicide. I believed them to the point of wanting to run away and never come back.
What was said during Sunday’s sermon hit me. “You are not defined by what others say. You are defined by what Jesus says.” That is so true, but I have never chosen to look at it that way. I have always chosen to see myself as others have. But they aren’t important. What they say isn’t important. What God says. What Jesus says. THAT is what is important.
I am a daughter of the King. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am a normal mom doing the best I can with what I have. I am blessed. I am loved.
We all struggle with out identity because of the ridiculous standards placed on us by society. I am choosing to ignore who society says I am and who I should be. I am choosing to focus on who God says that I am. I am His creation. I am here for Him, not society. I am here to show His love to society by being who He made me to be–a daughter of the King.
That is really the question, right? The question that we have all been driven to discover the answer to about ourselves. I have made it no secret that I am a Christian. To me, this means that I strive to follow my God and be an example of His love to those with whom I have contact. No matter how that contact is made.
Yesterday was a very rough day for me. I was called hateful by someone that I had considered a friend. It doesn’t matter how long you know someone, you never really know them. Do you ever really know anyone? The recent controversial bathroom topic came up. She posted an article that explained that people are using their children as an excuse to be hateful to the transgender community. I want to make it very clear before I continue that I have no issue with a transgender human being using the restroom of the gender with which they identify. I have a friend that is transgender. I love him dearly. To meet him on the street, you would never know he is transgender. He is a great person, and I have learned a lot from him in the time that I have known him.
The issue that I do have as the mother of a child who was molested by her own father, is that making the case that transgenders being able to use the bathroom of the gender with which they identify has opened a big can of worms. Before you jump to any conclusions, let me clarify. We have been using the restroom with transgender people for years. Guess what?! You didn’t realize it! Why? Because you didn’t know. Because you couldn’t tell. Here is my biggest problem: by broadcasting this and causing a controversy out of it, we have given molesters an opening. The way this is being understood, is that if someone identifies as the opposite gender, they can go into that restroom. Ok. I get that. So, what’s to keep a random guy from taking advantage of this and going into the women’s bathroom because he says that he identifies as a woman, when he has never done so before? The same goes for a woman going into the men’s bathroom. Nothing can be said to them, because it is discrimination. It isn’t right. It isn’t safe. I know that public restrooms aren’t safe to begin with, but I feel that this has made them even less safe. How do you tell a child that has a problem with men anyway because of what her father did to her that she could walk into a bathroom and see a man standing there, and it is perfectly okay for him to do so?
I am not hateful. I don’t hate. I don’t judge. As I have stated before, it is not my place to judge. I am protective. My daughter and other people’s children have been through enough. They don’t need their fears confronting them in a public restroom.
This “friend” has decided that I am no longer needed in her life because I don’t agree with her. She made sure that she had the last word on her detrimental post. It is what it is. I am hurt, but I will recover as we all do. All that I can say of her is that I love her, and I will continue to pray for her. One thing that we all need to realize is that we can agree to disagree. Not everyone agrees, and we never will.